Hell is a Crap-Flavored Slurpee

Miracle of miracles, on Friday and Saturday the roads were clean enough that I was able to get out for some real live bike riding. It was amazing, the frozen snot and sports drinks, the numb face, etc. Thrilling. So imagine how I felt this morning when I woke up to this scene out of my bedroom window:

And it didn't really improve. I stepped outside (which I now realize one should never, ever do between the months of November and March) and my beloved Summit Ave. was coated in crap Slushy:

Being from San Diego I don't have too much experience riding in crap Slushies, so I usually try to avoid this kind of natural disaster. Saddened, I started to head inside when I was confronted with one of the most amazing documents I've encountered:


Yes, that is an advertisement featuring a man jump kicking off of a roof. I know this because the ad actually takes the time to point out the "Corner of Roof."



I mean, I guess it's possible that this is effective advertising for some consumers out there. Personally, I can think of more enjoyable ways to spend my time than jump kicking to my almost certain doom.

Of course if the choice is between jump kicking myself off of a roof and a crap Slushy, well...