Friday, February 13, 2009

Ridin' Bikes n' Readin' Charts

The ECCC Blogosphere's Despot-in-Chief, Mr. Steven Hopengarten of Union College, has apparently banned the posting of all power files by fiat. In response I plan to completely flood this blog post with a multitude of completely unnecessary, redundant, obnoxious and otherwise ridiculous charts of all kinds. Starting now.

That's right Mr. Hopengarten, that is a pie chart representing relative quantities of food and beverages I consumed during the 2007 holiday season. And I promise you, it won't end there. It won't even end here:

That chart is a depiction of the seating arrangements available at performances by the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. I display it here on the off chance that you, Mr. Hopengarten, might wish to don one of the doubtless innumerable tuxedos lining your closet and head out for a night on the town. And in case this brush-in with culture makes you curious about the history of our great nation, I now present you with a strange chart which somehow represents the family tree of the great American president, John Quincy Adams:

While I will now move on from this chart-stravaganza, rest assured, Mr. Hopengarten, that this debate is by no means over.

Today's ride was a four-hour slog through a somehow omnipresent headwind (in both directions!) out to the oasis of fat, sugar, and more fat that is Honey Dew Donuts of Grafton, MA. Honey Dew has been relegated to the status of second-class citizen in Massachusetts confectionery society, a society ruled by that cruelest of mistresses - Dunkin' Donuts. However,, this one bastion of Honey Dewness remains on the outskirts of the outskirts of Boston, and it was to this amazing natural wonder that we were headed on this cold New England afternoon. To prove the absolute wonderousness of this wonder, here is a donut chart, Mr. Hopengarten:

Although this donut chart displays no relevant information regarding actual donuts, and is in all reality just a simple pie chart with the center removed, it is shaped just like the donuts served at Honey Dew, and for this reason I have included it here.

On the way to Honey Dew Donuts, we rode past a lot of frozen things.

That is Kyle Bruley (a.k.a. Creme Brulee) of the world-famous blog, "Hugging the Turns," riding past a large frozen body of water. Here is a photograph of Chair and Natan riding past some frozen water which, somehow, has fallen from the sky and congregated on the sides of the road:

And there was other frozen stuff as well, including Gatorade and snot. Yeah, it was a little cold, but nothing compared to last month, so I suppose I can't really complain.

Also, on this ride, I had occasion to realize the nutritional oddities that come along with being a very thin individual. On this ride, I personally saw Natan eat two Clif Bars, for a total caloric value of approximately 500 kcal. I also saw Chair eat nothing (as in zero Clif Bars) for a total caloric value of exactly 0.0 kcal. I have no idea what Creme Brulee ate, as I was busy watching Natan and Chair's every move, although I assume something custardy was involved. Finally, I watched myself eat three Clif Bars, four GU packets, and an egg and bagel sandwich, and drink four bottles of Gatorade, for a total caloric value of approximately 2260 kcal. Regardless, it's clear that whereas I need to consume a huge amount of calories in order to keep myself coherent on the bike, my friends do not, a fact which I attribute to my lack of fat, muscle, and other bodily tissue. I'll try keep that in mind come racing season. In order to stay healthy and maintain a balanced diet, I will also, Mr. Hopengarten, keep the nutritional pyramid chart in mind.

Oh, and here is my entire PowerTap file from today's ride:


1 comment:

Talula said...

This is my type of pie chart: